17 December 2013

Random Rant: Everything happens not always for a reason.

 Sometimes positive affirmations make me cringe. You know, verything happens for a reason or you are a creature of white light and everything that happens is a learning experience. Of course these ideas connected to destiny are a bit of a stretch for me to suspend all my disbelief, all my questioning and leap right in. The universe is a random place. Random bad stuff happens all the time. Certainly when I am faced with “Everything happens for a reason” , of course a part of my subconscious pipes up that this is going a little too far.
 Some things don’t happen for a reason. Some suffering is just plain random and devastating but instead of repeating a mantra of “This was meant to happen?” and brainwashing yourself that there is some method to the madness there, you can still choose to believe in the positive. I may undergo suffering from a result of a uranium atom randomly decaying way back in 1463. A chain of random events resulting in me suffering from mental illness in the present. This didn’t happen for any special reason. Yes in nature, things don’t happen for a reason, so why should I expect it to be different for me? I don’t. But I can use a negative experience to create a positive outcome.
 I prefer to look switch up the affirmation to something like, “I did suffer, now I am going to choose to find a way that I can use it to create meaning and give my life more value and reason by using this suffering to help others or learn from it?”. Not quite as sexy and succinct, but definitely more tangible. You give your suffering meaning. You choose to use everything that happens to you as a learning experience. If you have undergone suffering and found ways to deal with it, work with it and find a level of contentment at the end of your personal tunnel, then I am sure that others who have undergone a similar experience might benefit from the tools you have learn’t from your brush with random pain.
 What is more, your passion does not have to be linked to your suffering but, the thing that has challenged you the most, that you have fought to overcome the most, is usually a trial that has a definitive place in your life and so might be said to be one of your strongest passions. You are the expert of you right?  Nobody else fully understands what you have gone through. Whatever has been your biggest challenge must in some way inform your passion so I would encourage you to use and share the lessons you have learnt with others. Choose to rise above the random events and create the reason and meaning in your life. This to me feels closer to a real passion I can relate to. I am not asked to suspend my disbelief and rely on idealized faith. Take real events and use them to create real change, then you can say, “I choose to create reason and meaning, with everything that happens”. Isn’t that what life is about?