23 September 2014

Helping Others Helps You!

I have always struggled with mental health issues and have also been a fairly narcissistic, egotistical guy, so I've always worked on one of my favorite hobbies, myself.  I just love having those little breakthroughs where I gain a little insight into my own life. Now I feel compelled to share all that has worked for me over the years with others. Just remember when I go into self-involved rants, it is not all about me, well, it may be all about me, but its all about me for you.

There’s little more satisfying than helping others grow, change and thrive. It struck me not too long ago that other peoples lives, to the horror at first but then to my delight, that other peoples problems and indeed lives, were actually far more interesting and inspiring than my own. Could there really be something in not being self-obsessed? Yes, it really is more relaxing living life open to the possibility that the needs of others is important and a big stress relief.

Since becoming pseudo-enlightened, one of the distinctions I have made was how fun it is to help people. In fact it is therapeutic to help people. It gives takes the pressure off trying to seek validation for me, myself and I and to turn the focus on lifting up others. I love helping others and not because it fulfills some validation that I am a good guy, I am a good guy; I've got 99 problems but goodness ain't one. Helping others is just a great tonic for the soul.

I want to see the world be better, happier and healthier. I know, it seems I was raised by a Hallmark greeting card.

Before I accepted that I was a good person, before I became enlightened, I remember Deepak Chopra once said that the fastest way to get to your goals is to help others achieve theirs. That is a loose quote but it was something in that vein but I remember thinking to myself when I first heard it, “That is ridiculous.”  It did not make any sense. It sounded very weak and a little bit airy fairy.

But through my coaching I have really lived this experience. Watching others grow and become fitter and stronger, I have become fitter and stronger. It is like the reverse of rational self-interest is true in my experience. If I help others with what I know, it also helps me.

I feel well qualified as a self-described spiritual guru to dismiss rational self-interest as an idiotic life path. Rational-self interest is of course real. Everyone experiences rational-self interest. Yes that's what the world needs, rational self-interest.

The world actually needs rational self-awareness.

But Robin, isn't rational self-interest what personal development is about? Yeah, in a way, but it more about being more honest with yourself, facing your fears and learning how you can be your best you; not out of self-interest, but in the interest of leaving the world a better place through you not only fulfilling your own potential but helping others fulfill theirs.

Another experience that I was reflecting on as I considered my path to saving the planet was one of my movement teachers.  I had an Alexander  Technique teacher at drama school. An incredibly gifted healer she was, and because I have the posture of an arthritic foetus due to being hunched over and depressed from a relatively early age, she would perform extra sessions on me in her free time, aligning my posture and attempting to roll out my crippled sense of self-esteem. It felt like magic when she would just make a small adjustment and I would be like, "This is the real me!" Her expert touch make me feel right in touch with my essential self. She would say things like, " You have no idea how much I get out of helping others?" as she worked on me and I would nod thinking, "Sure lady, I'm glad you feel like that, sure helping others, sounds amazing, whatever works for you”. I didn’t get that she meant that helping me was spiritually rewarding for her as she was helping me stand up straight physically, but also discover my true height of my inner, authentic identity.

I still suffer from a bad posture but now I get what she meant when she talked of the benefits of giving of yourself unto others.

In coaching people I definitely experience how great it is in focusing on others and helping people overcome their fears and push themselves to lead a higher quality of life that we all deserve. Life lived to the full really is about helping others. It is about finding yourself, going deeper, learning, falling trying things and questioning everything, sure, but along with all that good stuff, the endgame is, we lift up others around us on our path to reaching our potential.

I don’t have all the answers but one of the answers that helps me to lead a meaningful, less stressful life is to reach out and help my fellow man and woman.  If you have all the answers, write a book about it, please, I’d definitely buy a copy. Even if you have only few, write one, that's what I am doing here here; a few simple answers to concerns that really hampered my swagger. What helped my swagger was making a commitment to looking outside myself and asking the question, “How can I help you?”

For me coaching and life is about creating something meaningful and true and giving back. It is about being humble honest and opening your heart and mind and swinging for your figurative fences for the collective good.

Two Minute Task:

So right now, you are going to write down in your journal, on your device, whatever it is you like to take notes on for  2 minutes. For just two minutes write freely and quickly as much as you can about how you can commit to helping a friend, family member you know to be in need of support.

Don’t thinks about it too much. Just write. Write from the heart not your head. These are big questions I know, but lets get into it. Are you ready? Look at your watch, start a timer and go, go, go!